Friday, May 30, 2008

It was just a dream.... OR WAS IT!!!

Last night I had my first dream about Case's birth. Well technically it wasn't his birth it was what happened after his birth.

It started out with Keith and I returning to the hospital 24 hours after Case was born. At this time we had never seen even seen the baby. I'm not sure how we got sent home without our baby or why we never saw him, but here we are showing up to the hospital with the stroller, diaper bag and various other baby essentials and me trying to figure out why we haven't seen him. We walked into the maternity floor "waiting room" which was directly across from the nursery. The "waiting room" was full and I mean crammed full of people visiting with their babies. Not just the mom and dad but entire extended families hanging out with newborns in the waiting room. I'm looking around trying to find a place to park the stroller because I can see that the nursery was just as full and I'm still wondering why on earth they sent me home without showing me my baby and why I let them. I forgot to mention that there is nowhere to park my stroller because everyone and their dog had strollers and various baby items all over the waiting room. It seriously looked like these people were camping out. I couldn't walk through it was that crammed. Finally we just abandoned the stroller and went into the nursery. We really only made it inside the nursery door because of all the people surrounding those bassinet things. I'm looking around at all of these babies and wondering which one is mine expecting that I would automatically recognize him. I have had the 3D ultrasound afterall. Every time I saw one that I thought was him it had someone else's name on it. So I start looking for a nurse only to discover that I knew every single one of the nurses. For some reason I very embarassed about this because I didn't know which baby was mine and I didn't want to admit it to people I knew. Then this nurse looks up and says, "Oh, I saw Amanda Freeman and it never registered with me that this was your baby." Weird. I should also mention that this girl was actually someone I work with in real life and she is not a nurse, however my school e-mail is Amanda Freeman and that always confuses people. Anyway, the girl goes to get my baby and I'm very excited watching to see which one she goes and gets. The girl brought me a play-dough blue stuffed bear with a hot pink nose wrapped in a blanket. Seriously, I thought this is not for real, but guess what. The teddy bear was breathing and it was indeed my baby. For some reason I wasn't as shocked about this as I thought I'd be. It was more confusion than anything. I moved beyond wondering why I had never seen the baby to wondering how I was supposed to get it to look like a human. I just stood there wondering if I was supposed to get a baby nose and mouth and eyes and put them on the bear and if so how would I know where exactly to put them. And then would he turn into a normal baby and the play-dough blue would fade. It really was perplexing. I even thought maybe all babies came out looking like blue bears and they morphed into human babies, but still everyone else had a normal baby but us. The hospital visit ended there and next thing I remember I was at home waiting for Keith and there was horrible storm coming. The wind started blowing so hard and I was laying on the bathroom floor watching through the window when the neighbor told me to get out of the house and go lay underneath my car. So I did just that. I took my dog in a bowl, slid him under the car and then I crawled under the car on my belly. After getting situated I realized I left the baby in the house but at least I had the dog in a bowl.

Talk about a strange feeling when I woke up. I wish I could translate dreams and see what that one meant!

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